diff --git a/.github/workflows/docker-gradle-build-push.yml b/.github/workflows/docker-gradle-build-push.yml
index e92aeee..3f76081 100644
--- a/.github/workflows/docker-gradle-build-push.yml
+++ b/.github/workflows/docker-gradle-build-push.yml
@@ -67,8 +67,10 @@ jobs:
           # Without this the `./gradlew -q properties` step below resolves the
           # whole dependency graph from scratch on every run — measured at ~98s
           # median in service-moderation, a third of the job, to read one
-          # version string.
-          cache: "gradle"
+          # version string. Hosted runners only: from the self-hosted ARC runners
+          # the GitHub Actions cache stalled at 0 bytes for minutes and crawled at
+          # ~1 MB/s (2026-09-30), slower than resolving from scratch.
+          cache: ${{ runner.environment == 'github-hosted' && 'gradle' || '' }}
 
       - name: Configure GitHub Packages credentials
         run: |
diff --git a/.github/workflows/gradle-ci.yml b/.github/workflows/gradle-ci.yml
index a7007ff..bc94e26 100644
--- a/.github/workflows/gradle-ci.yml
+++ b/.github/workflows/gradle-ci.yml
@@ -57,10 +57,16 @@ jobs:
         with:
           distribution: "temurin"
           java-version: "25"
-          cache: "gradle"
+          # The GitHub Actions cache is a Azure-hosted download: from the self-hosted
+          # runners on hbr1 it stalled at 0 bytes for minutes and crawled at ~1 MB/s
+          # (2026-09-30), slower than resolving the dependencies from scratch. Hosted
+          # runners keep it; self-hosted ones use the Gradle build cache node.
+          cache: ${{ runner.environment == 'github-hosted' && 'gradle' || '' }}
 
       - name: Set up Gradle
         uses: gradle/actions/setup-gradle@v6
+        with:
+          cache-disabled: ${{ runner.environment != 'github-hosted' }}
 
       - name: Configure GitHub Packages credentials
         run: |
diff --git a/.github/workflows/gradle-publish.yml b/.github/workflows/gradle-publish.yml
index 2330e7d..51158ef 100644
--- a/.github/workflows/gradle-publish.yml
+++ b/.github/workflows/gradle-publish.yml
@@ -57,10 +57,16 @@ jobs:
         with:
           distribution: "temurin"
           java-version: "25"
-          cache: "gradle"
+          # The GitHub Actions cache is a Azure-hosted download: from the self-hosted
+          # runners on hbr1 it stalled at 0 bytes for minutes and crawled at ~1 MB/s
+          # (2026-09-30), slower than resolving the dependencies from scratch. Hosted
+          # runners keep it; self-hosted ones use the Gradle build cache node.
+          cache: ${{ runner.environment == 'github-hosted' && 'gradle' || '' }}
 
       - name: Set up Gradle
         uses: gradle/actions/setup-gradle@v6
+        with:
+          cache-disabled: ${{ runner.environment != 'github-hosted' }}
 
       - name: Configure GitHub Packages credentials for resolution
         run: |
diff --git a/tests/test_docker_workflow.py b/tests/test_docker_workflow.py
index d9cf7f1..b378d0a 100644
--- a/tests/test_docker_workflow.py
+++ b/tests/test_docker_workflow.py
@@ -177,6 +177,23 @@ def test_every_central_workflow_routes_private_repos_to_the_shared_pool(self):
                     self.assertEqual(missing, 'ubuntu-24.04')
         self.assertEqual(checked, 9, 'every repo-routed job should target the shared pool')
 
+    def test_gradle_caches_are_used_on_hosted_runners_only(self):
+        """From hbr1 the GHA cache stalled at 0 bytes and crawled at ~1 MB/s (2026-09-30).
+
+        A literal `cache: gradle` would send every self-hosted job back through it, so each
+        Gradle job must gate setup-java's cache -- and setup-gradle's -- on the runner.
+        """
+        for name in ['gradle-ci.yml', 'gradle-publish.yml', 'docker-gradle-build-push.yml']:
+            job = next(iter(yaml.safe_load((WORKFLOW.parent / name).read_text())['jobs'].values()))
+            for step in job['steps']:
+                uses, with_ = step.get('uses', ''), step.get('with', {})
+                with self.subTest(workflow=name, step=uses):
+                    if uses.startswith('actions/setup-java'):
+                        self.assertIn('runner.environment', str(with_['cache']))
+                        self.assertNotEqual(with_['cache'], 'gradle')
+                    if uses.startswith('gradle/actions/setup-gradle'):
+                        self.assertIn('runner.environment', str(with_['cache-disabled']))
+
     def test_runner_override_and_missing_event_payload(self):
         job = yaml.safe_load(WORKFLOW.read_text())['jobs']['docker-build-push']
         context = {'inputs.runner': '', 'github.event.repository.visibility': '', 'github.event.repository.name': ''}