diff --git a/src/lib/handlers/unified-wrapper.mjs b/src/lib/handlers/unified-wrapper.mjs
index b4d2b332..f0f15154 100644
--- a/src/lib/handlers/unified-wrapper.mjs
+++ b/src/lib/handlers/unified-wrapper.mjs
@@ -3677,6 +3677,16 @@ export class UnifiedWrapper extends ComponentBase {
 				return value;
 			}
 
+			// A callable leaf's built-in function surface — inherited Function.prototype/Object.prototype
+			// members (apply, call, bind, constructor, …) and the non-enumerable own `prototype` slot — are
+			// the function's OWN properties, not child endpoints. Return them directly: wrapping one
+			// registered a phantom child and flipped the leaf's record from function to namespace on a mere
+			// read (#304). Only a user-added ENUMERABLE own property of the impl materializes as a child.
+			const currentImpl = wrapper.____slothletInternal.impl;
+			if (typeof currentImpl === "function" && !Object.prototype.propertyIsEnumerable.call(currentImpl, prop)) {
+				return value;
+			}
+
 			const wrapped = wrapper.___createChildWrapper(prop, value);
 			// ___createChildWrapper always returns a wrapper for every value type seen in tests; null is never returned.
 			/* v8 ignore next */
diff --git a/tests/vitests/suites/unified-wrapper/leaf-function-prototype-read.test.vitest.mjs b/tests/vitests/suites/unified-wrapper/leaf-function-prototype-read.test.vitest.mjs
new file mode 100644
index 00000000..8ba31ac4
--- /dev/null
+++ b/tests/vitests/suites/unified-wrapper/leaf-function-prototype-read.test.vitest.mjs
@@ -0,0 +1,101 @@
+/**
+ *	@Project: @cldmv/slothlet
+ *	@Filename: /tests/vitests/suites/unified-wrapper/leaf-function-prototype-read.test.vitest.mjs
+ *	@Date: 2026-08-24T00:00:00-08:00 (1756022400)
+ *	@Author: Nate Corcoran <CLDMV>
+ *	@Email: <Shinrai@users.noreply.github.com>
+ *	-----
+ *	@Last modified by: Nate Corcoran <CLDMV> (Shinrai@users.noreply.github.com)
+ *	@Last modified time: 2026-08-24T00:00:00-08:00 (1756022400)
+ *	-----
+ *	@Copyright: Copyright (c) 2013-2026 Catalyzed Motivation Inc. All rights reserved.
+ */
+
+/**
+ * @fileoverview Reading a Function.prototype member off a callable leaf must not mutate its record (#304).
+ *
+ * @description
+ * `leaf.apply(thisArg, args)` is a common forwarding idiom. The wrapper's get trap used to treat
+ * every function-valued property — including the leaf's own inherited `apply`/`call`/`bind`/`constructor`
+ * and its non-enumerable `prototype` — as a child endpoint, wrapping it and registering a phantom child.
+ * A mere READ therefore flipped the leaf from `kind: "function"` to `kind: "namespace"` and grew a phantom
+ * `leaf.apply` record. Built-in function members must return the function's own property untouched; only a
+ * user-added enumerable own property materializes as a child. Verified in eager and lazy modes.
+ * @module tests/vitests/suites/unified-wrapper/leaf-function-prototype-read
+ */
+
+import { describe, it, expect, beforeAll, afterAll, afterEach } from "vitest";
+import { mkdir, writeFile, rm } from "node:fs/promises";
+import { join, resolve } from "node:path";
+import slothlet from "@cldmv/slothlet";
+
+const ROOT = resolve("tmp", `slothlet-leaffnproto-${Date.now()}-${Math.random().toString(36).slice(2)}`);
+
+beforeAll(async () => {
+	await mkdir(ROOT, { recursive: true });
+	await writeFile(join(ROOT, "tool.mjs"), `export function ping() { return "pong"; }\n`);
+	// A callable that ALSO carries a real, user-added enumerable own child (`version`): the built-in
+	// members must still return native, but the genuine child must still materialize.
+	await writeFile(join(ROOT, "greet.mjs"), `export function greet() { return "hi"; }\ngreet.version = function version() { return "v1"; };\n`);
+});
+
+afterAll(async () => {
+	await rm(ROOT, { recursive: true, force: true });
+});
+
+const MODES = ["eager", "lazy"];
+// The leaf function's OWN built-in surface, not api children: inherited callable members and the
+// non-enumerable `prototype` slot. Reading any of them must not mutate the record.
+const CALLABLE_MEMBERS = ["apply", "call", "bind", "constructor"];
+const isPhantom = (p) => /\.(apply|call|bind|constructor|prototype)$/.test(p.path);
+
+describe.each(MODES)("Function.prototype reads on a callable leaf leave the record intact — %s", (mode) => {
+	let api;
+
+	afterEach(async () => {
+		if (api?.shutdown) await api.shutdown();
+		api = null;
+	});
+
+	it("does not turn a function leaf into a namespace or grow phantom children", async () => {
+		api = await slothlet({ base: ROOT, silent: true, mode });
+
+		const before = await api.slothlet.api.leaves(".", { details: true, includePrivate: true });
+		expect(before.find((p) => p.path === "tool.ping")?.kind).toBe("function");
+		expect(before.filter(isPhantom)).toHaveLength(0);
+
+		// Read every built-in member — this must not mutate the record.
+		for (const member of CALLABLE_MEMBERS) {
+			expect(typeof api.tool.ping[member]).toBe("function");
+		}
+		expect(typeof api.tool.ping.prototype).toBe("object");
+		expect(api.tool.ping()).toBe("pong");
+
+		const after = await api.slothlet.api.leaves(".", { details: true, includePrivate: true });
+		// The leaf stays a function, and no phantom `tool.ping.apply` / `.call` / `.bind` / … appeared.
+		expect(after.find((p) => p.path === "tool.ping")?.kind).toBe("function");
+		expect(after.filter(isPhantom)).toHaveLength(0);
+		expect(after.some((p) => p.path.startsWith("tool.ping."))).toBe(false);
+	});
+
+	it("leaf.apply / leaf.call still invoke the leaf through slothlet", async () => {
+		api = await slothlet({ base: ROOT, silent: true, mode });
+		expect(api.tool.ping.apply(null, [])).toBe("pong");
+		expect(api.tool.ping.call(null)).toBe("pong");
+		const bound = api.tool.ping.bind(null);
+		expect(bound()).toBe("pong");
+	});
+
+	it("a genuine user-added enumerable own child on a callable still materializes", async () => {
+		api = await slothlet({ base: ROOT, silent: true, mode });
+		// `greet.version` is a real enumerable own property — it IS a child endpoint and must resolve,
+		// while `greet.apply` (built-in) returns the function's own member and is not a child.
+		expect(api.greet()).toBe("hi");
+		expect(api.greet.version()).toBe("v1");
+		expect(typeof api.greet.apply).toBe("function");
+
+		const details = await api.slothlet.api.leaves(".", { details: true, includePrivate: true });
+		expect(details.find((p) => p.path === "greet.version")?.kind).toBe("function");
+		expect(details.some((p) => isPhantom(p) && p.path.startsWith("greet."))).toBe(false);
+	});
+});